Wednesday, February 12, 2014

He's a Keeper, She's a Keeper. Wouldn't You Love to be a Keeper too?

I always thought I liked the idea of being a "kept" woman.  I seriously did.  And that may make me sound waif-y or stupid or otherwise snooty, but it's the honest to god truth.  In many ways, I still do.

I saw a valentine's card photo online that said "I'm Keeping You".

At once I was stricken by the overtones of the phrase "being kept".  In my mind it was always about being taken care of, and having an opportunity to be the domestic goddess we all know I actually am.  But in my mind's eye, that never worked with the woman as bread winner, and it certainly never led me to think of it as though I would be kept like a pet.  The dog that wags it's tail at the door waiting eagerly for it's "master" to return home.

I gotta say, domestic goddess or not, in my household even if I were to be a kept woman, would not have resulted in me greeting my husband at the door with drink in hand, smile on face and dressed to the nines.  Then again, it's highly unlikely in any situation, that I'd be greeting someone like Ward Cleaver - suit and tie, briefcase in hand, either.

I think it's also because kept or not, I never ever envisioned myself living the luxe life without contributing my fair share to the overall productivity of the home or family.  If I were kept, I'd be probably selling tupperware, building a business, or working my arse off to maintain house and home and garden...looking after seniors and all that OTHER stuff I already do in addition to my full time paying job.

And so, yeah, I subscribe to the "keeper" theories when it comes to finding the ones you love, but no one should ever approach a relationship with anyone like it shouldn't be hard work.  Loving someone is as much a choice as it is a feeling, once you get through that whole infatuation and lust stuff.  And working hard to make it work is pretty intense sometimes.  But like everything else, when you choose to keep with someone, the great times are the most wonderful moments in life.  And any sacrifice you have made to have that, well, those moments make each one worth it's weight in gold and so much more.

So as valentines approaches, and my husband and I officially get past the rocky stretch of road we've just gone through, I'm glad I kept him, and I'm really glad he kept me.  And I'm glad to have a partner in life, as opposed to a pet.  Pet's NEVER clean up their own mess.  At least my husband helps with the dishes!

I love you this much sweetheart.  Forever and Always!

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